Wait! Don’t whack your sweetie in the head with a Louisville Slugger. No matter how much he deserves it.

Instead, give him or her, the gift that keeps on giving, a recently discovered species of bat! It’s way cooler than a lousy star.

In order to raise money for studying new species and conserving natural habitats, Purdue University will auction the naming rights to 7 bats and 2 turtles. Personally, I would name the bat, Bruce Wayne and the turtle, Leonardo. Turtle power!

But there’s a snag. You’ve got to be a high-roller to enter this auction. Similar bidding fetched $40,800 for a butterfly, $500,000 for a shark and $650,000 for naming a monkey. You’d be owed a lot of “favors” for laying down that kind of scratch.

Via Discoblog.