alt

Do you ever walk down the aisles at the grocery store, or see an ad on TV and think… “Seriously? Who buys this stuff?” Maybe it’s just me. Point and giggle with me at these five pointless processed foods you can easily make at home.

Uncrustables
This doesn’t even make sense to me. It’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Please explain to me why a child who’s old enough to use a toaster or microwave isn’t old enough to spread peanut butter and jelly on a slice of bread?! This is a shining example of just how pointless most processed foods are. Plus, they’re full of high-fructose corn syrup and trans fats—which are definitely not kid-friendly.

Mio Water Enhancer
I actually thought the commercial with Tracy Morgan for Mio was a skit from 30 Rock the first time I saw it. Water is boring? Well, add some fruit! Or some tea! Or some herbs, for goodness sake! Just stay away from the artificial colors and chemical sweetners in this nasty stuff.

WhoNu? Nutrition Rich Cookies
You’ve got to applaud whatever product development team got this one on the market. “It’s a cookie—that’s good for you!” they say. It’s also bunk. The box claims it has as much fiber as a bowl of oatmeal, as much calcium as a glass of milk, and as much vitamin C as a cup of blueberries. Riiight. If you want a cookie, just bake it. If you want a good breakfast, you’re much better off actually eating a bowl of oatmeal with milk and blueberries; you’ll be a lot fuller and avoid all that processed flour and GMO ingredients. 

VitaMuffin Vita Tops
These muffin tops (seriously—you only get the top, just like that Seinfeld episode) are touted as healthy because they only have 100 calories per (tiny) serving and 9 grams of fiber. They were popular when you could sort of game the Weight Watchers Points system by eating as much fiber as humanly possible. But Weight Watchers has gotten wise and changed their calculations, and so should you. Make a fiber-filled sweet potato muffin at home for about the same calories and a lot less junk. 

Instant Oatmeal
This one of those popular processed foods that baffles me to no end. Instant oatmeal is processed to cook more quickly, but that means that it also digests quickly, spiking your blood sugar. Regular rolled oats have a lower glycemic index. How long does it take to cook a packet of instant oatmeal in the microwave? About 2 minutes.  How long does it take to cook a bowl of regular rolled oats in the microwave? About 2 minutes. So, assuming you’re not buying the artificially flavored and full of sugar kind (you’re not, right??), then what you’re really getting with instant oats is more packaging and higher blood sugar spikes.  

Related Articles on Organic Authority:

Kid-Friendly Food Substitutes for the Processed Stuff
Do You Eat Deskfast?
5 Foods To Top Eating Today 

Top Photo: Smuckers