President Clinton has confirmed rumors that he’s “experimenting with a vegan diet.”
Surely Chelsea’s a great resource as she too is vegan, but, Mr. President, in case you need a bit more incentive to stay on the path, here are ten reasons why you should stick to your vegan diet for at least one more term.
1. You were pretty hot on The Daily Show last week. It looked like you dropped twenty pounds or so? Nice.
2. Carrots, blueberries, walnuts and olive oil do wonders for your complexion, which may help that little rosacea problem you have.
3. Vice President Gore has done a disservice to the environmental movement by blatantly ignoring the impact factory farms have on our water, air, soil and food supplies. By adopting a vegan diet, you’re helping shed light on these important issues and setting Al straight.
4. Variety! There are thousands of fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, grains and legumes to eat without missing greasy meat and dairy products. And New York’s got no shortage of great vegan meal options for your Meatless Mondays…or Tuesdays or Wednesdays.
5. Now that Chelsea’s married, you can look forward to some grandkids in the not-so-distant future. Eating vegan foods can improve your energy levels so that you can keep up!
6. Vegan diets have been proven to lower rates of heart disease and obesity, both of which you have a history with. As well, they boost immunity and provide more nutrients.
7. Be a role model! Food safety regulations will change when more politicians understand the need to enforce better treatment of animals, healthier farm conditions and more ethical working conditions for employees in slaughterhouses.
8. Two words: Hillary Time. That’s right, boss, studies indicate vegans may have a healthier sex drive than men clogged up with heavy animal products. Give our Secretary of State some good old quality time with El Vegan Presidente.
9. Compassion makes the world a better place. Can we really expect wars to cease if we’re waging them every day on our food? By staying vegan, you help more people understand that a vegan diet is not only healthy and delicious, but it’s a pretty kind choice.
10. Sure you run the Clinton Foundation and your wife’s job keeps you busy too, but let’s face it, things have slowed down since leaving office. Not to worry, PETA will happily keep you employed (and naked) as the sexiest vegan president poster-boy ever. Move over, Pam Anderson, or maybe, move a little closer…
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Photo: Chris Denbow