For many of us, it can be the most spiritual human experience. But our Western culture rarely views sex in that context. (Especially if you're a Republican running for President!) Sex is often debased and degraded as little more than a primal nuisance we haven't yet outgrown. But, this potent, magical practice has the power to give life, not just to each of us, but also to a deeper understanding and communion with an elusive, etheric world, if we're willing to go further than the perceived end goal of Orgasm.
Without getting into a play-by-play, how-to-Tantra lesson (there are PLENTY of books and websites that can help you with that), here's a look at some of the incredible reasons for developing a Tantric sex practice.
- Deeper Connection: Couples that have explored in earnest a Tantric practice report lasting feelings of closeness, and an ability to overcome issues better than before. Eye contact, syncing up breath, and more awareness of your partner help bring the relationship to another level.
- Patience: Part of the art of Tantra is taking it slow. Yes, that can mean awkward moments abound (which many of us try to avoid in sexual relationships with dark rooms and eyes closed). But working through the confusing Tantric positions, the meditation of holding back orgasm, and the conscious connection with your partner develops the important skill of being patient.
- Problem Solving: Those Tantric Kama Sutra positions are not often easy to get into, especially for beginners and learning to prolong the experience without reaching an orgasm can require shifting positions and trial and error. The need to talk and work together in these less-than modest and vulnerable moments helps to expand our problem solving skills.
- Creativity: Author and futurist, Barbara Marx Hubbard, says we benefit from embracing the practice of "supra-sexuality," expressing one's life purpose, creativity and empowerment to fully emancipate our potential. And just as sex is used to "create" human life, it can be used to create life projects by bringing attention and energy to your goals during intercourse.
- Selflessness: In Tantra, you really do benefit from withholding your orgasm. Beyond procreation and pleasure, Tantric sex has the power of liberation—an ecstatic experience often compared to glimpsing into cosmic consciousness. Don't fret if you don't get there straight out of the gate, of course, especially if your partner seems to be drifting past you in the galactic goo. But supporting each other's out-of-orgasm launch into the ethers helps us in remembering that giving really is better than receiving.
- Empowerment: Please don't confuse this with power. We've been doing that on this planet long enough. An authentic, organic sexual practice can humble us by stripping away pretenses and ego. Empowerment is what comes after that. Feeling like you no longer have anything to hide or be ashamed of brings a great sense of purpose, and an ability to express our deepest fears and our greatest loves. No more hiding under the sheets, folks. We're in the future, now.
Keep in touch with Jill on Twitter @jillettinger