Please note this article is meant as a satire, tongue and cheek article. Please do not take it seriously. It is only meant to add a little humor to everyday life.
Recently, there’s been some hubbub because of airlines forcing overweight passengers on their flights to purchase two seats, due to the fact that their bodies would not fit into the space of one seat. Naturally, there has been quite a bit of recoil, not only from the passengers, but also from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, which holds that no one should be made to pay more just because of their size.
But what about the Slim Acceptance Movement? What about the people who pay more in spite of their size? Who will step up to defend the rights of the small and the shrimpy? The pipsqueaks? The runts? The people who always get stuck in the back middle seat of the car because it is understood that larger people automatically get the front?
I am a 5’4” female who weighs slightly over 100 pounds. My smaller mass almost always requires fewer materials than people who have a larger mass, but this is rarely accounted for. Like most small people, my entire life I have had to pay the same prices for goods and services as everyone else, even though my needs require less space, less time and fewer resources.
Nowhere is slim discrimination more obvious than with clothing. An extra-small tee-shirt takes fewer resources and labor to produce than does an extra-large tee-shirt, yet these items are almost always priced the same. Do I get a discount because my pants are two inches shorter than the norm and take less material to make? No – in fact, I must usually pay extra for the special “petite” size (nevermind the fact that the average American woman is 5’4” like me).
The cost of sporting equipment also discriminates against small people. Why should I have to pay the same price for my extra-small SCUBA suit as someone who needs a suit twice the size, that takes twice the material, twice as long to sew and twice as big of a box to ship (and twice the shipping fees)? Slim discrimination is so embedded in our society, even skinny people don’t even notice it.
Take the dinner buffet, or any other sort of “prix fixe” situation such as an open bar. Small people pay the same as others three times their size that will eat and imbibe three times as much. This inequality is accepted and not even questioned, although many small people find themselves intentionally avoiding such situations and segregating themselves to other dining opportunities.
What about personal grooming services? At the hair salon, the price of the cut or style usually depends on the length (aka size) of the hair. Styling short hair costs less than long hair. Why then, must small people pay the same amount for a full-body massage when they have half the body of others? Why do shorties get scammed on the spray-tanner, which costs the same price whether you are 4’5” or 6’4”, even though the taller person will require more product as well as more time and labor? This is shorty discrimination, plain and simple.
The transportation industry is also a bastion of slim discrimination, with planes, trains and busses seemingly forgetting that e=mc2: it takes twice as much fuel to transport a 200-pound person than it does a 100-pound person, yet the smaller person must always pay the same ticket price. The bus trips, train tickets and flight coupons of small people always cost as much as those of larger people despite the fact that we requires less fuel and energy to transport.
The small people of the world are sick and tired of paying the same price for fewer materials and shorter (no pun intended) services. We will no longer be relegated to the middle of the backseat in cars just because we can fit. Small-size people are more environmentally friendly! We take up fewer resources, breath less oxygen and produce less waste. It is time for the shorties of the world to stand up and be part of the Slim Acceptance Movement!
This article is meant as a satire, tongue and cheek article to add a little humor to everyday life. Please do not take it seriously. The opionions of the author do not represent the opinions of of Organic Authority, LLC.