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 “If my dog ever bites my child, he’s out of
here!” I hear that all the time. It just
makes me want to scream, “But that will be too late!”
Each year nearly 2.8
million children are bitten by a dog. Most of these bites are not coming from
some scary dog that got loose. Sensational stories make headlines, but most dog
bites are more commonplace. Half come from the family’s own dog, and another 40
percent come from a friend or neighbor’s dog.
As a dog trainer and
a mother of three boys, I want families to love having a dog, but I am
perpetually frustrated by the lack of knowledge most parents have about basic
dog safety. They seem to be operating under the Disney-esque assumption that a
good dog would never bite a child, and their dog is certainly a good dog.
Well, I’m sure their
dog is a good dog and their kids are good kids, yet every day misunderstandings
occur because the parents don’t know how to set everyone up for success. We
parents can do much more to prevent our children from being bitten by dogs. But
it takes some knowledge.
The best barrier
against aggression is a strong social drive. When choosing a dog for your
family, look for one that adores people, especially children. A dog that really enjoys kids will give your
kids the benefit of the doubt when they step on his tail or fall over him. Even
with the best supervision, there will be times when a child hurts a dog. Today,
one of my sons kicked off his snow boot, which went flying down the hall and
hit the dog. Fortunately for all of us, Gordo didn’t bat an eye.
Several times a
month, I am asked to perform behavior assessments of family dogs. One painful
part of my job is telling parents when I do not believe their dog has the right
temperament to be a safe companion for their children. That breaks my heart,
but I feel strongly that I must call the shots as I see them. Sugar-coating or
painting a rosy picture might put the family’s child in danger, and I can’t
live with that.
I often see dogs
that could be great family members with some support from the parents.
Supervision, along with a basic understanding of dog behavior, is the key.
For example, here is
something I bet you don’t know: Dogs don’t like hugs! Oh, I know, your dog
loves when your kids hug him. While I believe that dogs can be taught to accept
and, in a few cases, even welcome hugs, I also know that hugging is not a
normal dog behavior. Think about the last time you saw one dog “hug” another.
It wasn’t a gesture of affection, was it? No, it was either mating or a
dominance display. Do you really want your dog thinking your child is
attempting either of those behaviors?
Children, especially
preschoolers, rarely understand the concept of personal space. We parents need
to be sure that our dogs get some downtime away from the kids. It’s wearing to
have someone following you around all day, even if he means well. My kids know
that if the dog goes in his crate, they cannot talk to him or pet him until he
chooses to come back out. It gives the dog a private refuge where he’s not
expected to be the local celebrity, the center of attention.
Learning a bit about
canine body language helps too. There is a set of behaviors—called calming
signals—dogs display when they are stressed. These serve two purposes: they are
an attempt at self-soothing, akin to thumb sucking, as well as a message to
others that the dog would like the situation to defuse. Watchful parents can
step in when they see their dog exhibiting these behaviors.
Lip licking—When a dog is a little anxious, he will often quickly stick out his
tongue and lick his lips. It’s usually just a fast, little flick. Watch your
dog; this is one of the most common signals I see.
Yawning—This is often mistaken for contentment. The dog is surrounded by kids, and he lets
out a big yawn. Isn’t that sweet? Nope,
it’s a sign that he’s in a little over his head and would appreciate your help.
Shaking off—We’ve all seen dogs shake off when they are wet, but this happens at
other times too. I liken it to a reset button on a video game. Time to shake
off and start over. It will happen right after something makes the dog
uncomfortable, usually as he’s walking away.
Freezing—Watch out! Freezing is one step beyond a calming signal; it’s often a
last-ditch attempt to tell you to back off. Dogs typically freeze right before
they snap or bite. That may sound obvious, but one of the scariest things I
ever saw was when an owner told me, “Lucy loves to have kids hug her. Look how
still she is.” It was a heart-stopping moment for me. Lucy, thank goodness, did
not bite, but she was definitely not enjoying the experience.
Spaying and
neutering our pets helps too. Nearly 80 percent of dog bites come from intact
males.
It’s important not
to blame kids for being kids or dogs for being dogs. Let’s be realistic; it’s impossible to
control someone else’s behavior 100 percent, be it dog or child. We parents
can, however, teach dogs and kids to enjoy each other’s company more by
building an understanding of each other’s behavior—and in doing so, we will
decrease that scary number of annual dog bites and help ensure that our
children are not bitten.
Colleen Pelar, CPDT, CDBC, author of Living
with Kids and Dogs . . . Without Losing Your Mind, is America’s Kids
and Canines Coach. Colleen has more than 15 years’ experience as the go-to
person for parents trying to navigate kid-and-dog issues. Because every
interaction between a child and a dog can be improved by a knowledgeable adult,
Colleen is committed to educating parents, children, and dog owners on
kid-and-dog relationships. For more information visit www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com
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