What Not to Eat: Taco Bell Breakfast Tacos

If there’s one thing to cross off your eating list, it’s the Taco Bell Breakfast. Launching at the end of March, the internet is abuzz with mentions of all the new fatty, processed delights you’ll be able to get for breakfast. Because if regular, industrial tacos weren’t enough for you, now there’s a waffle taco. Oh yeah, that has to be part of a complete breakfast right?
No.
The Taco Bell breakfast taco makes an Egg McMuffin look like child’s play (plus they’ll be served until 11 a.m., a whole half hour longer than the McMuffin, take that McDonalds!). So what makes a waffle taco? A waffle wrapped around a sausage patty or bacon, with scrambled eggs and cheese. Just like you put salsa on a regular taco, with this one, you douse it in syrup. It could be the start to a great day, or just a recipe for immediate cardiac arrest. Or at the very least, disgust.
And don’t forget the A.M. Crunchwrap, a delectable concoction of scrambled eggs, a hash brown, cheese and bacon, sausage or steak in a flour tortilla. In other words, a breakfast burrito gone wrong.
Obviously the question is: why?
Money. Taco Bell doesn’t want to miss out on the breakfast game, one that McDonald’s has been playing since the 1970s. In fact, at the Golden Arches, breakfast accounts for about 20 percent of U.S. sales, plus it allows the chain to draw people in at all hours of the day. Chains like Taco Bell are happily willing to tap into that market, and hey, if their general products don’t really fit into the breakfast category, might as well invent one that does.
Last year they tested the market to be sure that Taco Bell diners were ready for breakfast, and apparently, people loved the fried waffle taco that was served in 100 locations. It came in at 460 calories and 30 grams of fat – and that’s without the syrup. That puts the waffle taco right up there with the 7-layer Burrito. Yum.
“Fans already like to come to Taco Bell for lunch and dinner, and they share with us their love of late night. Now they’re not just asking, but telling us they want Taco Bell Breakfast,” said Taco Bell President, Brian Niccol in a press release. Well if people are craving Taco Bell Breakfast than we’re pretty much doomed.
Taco Bell isn’t a debutant when it comes to the breakfast game – remember, they’re the ones responsible for the “breakfast soda” after all – but come the end of March we’ll see if breakfast tacos are something that people really want to eat at 8 a.m., or if it’s just a lot of hype.
Consider yourself officially warned. After all, you never know what mystery ingredients will be lurking in that breakfast of yours. Stay home and eat some yogurt and granola instead.
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Image via Taco Bell