Finding a partner is hard enough. Whether you work long hours, you’ve recently moved, or you just haven’t had any luck up until this point, finding a mate seems like it’s getting harder everyday. Chemistry is about more than just looks, interests, job status, and whether you want children. It’s also about your personality type, which is based on the five elements.
According to Dondi Dahlin, author of "Understand Yourself and Enhance Your Relationships with the Wisdom of the World's Oldest Personality Type System," finding a relationship that lasts is also about having personality types that complement each other.
So what’s your personality type and who's your best match? Let’s take a closer look.
What Are the Five Elements?
According to Dahlin's theory, every individual has a personality type governed by one, two, or three of the five elements. Most of us are governed by a primary and secondary element. Though much more rare, some of us are governed by three elements and in very rare cases, an individual will be ruled by a single element, and each element defines a personality type. Here’s a summary of each element.
Individuals that are primarily made up of the water element are complex, introspective, and deep thinkers. They’re often deeply private and secretive. Those whose primary element is water are more likely to feel blue or sad and when they are out of balance, they really need time by themselves to rejuvenate. Whether it’s taking a walk or soaking in the bath, waters need down time. At the same time, waters are also playful spirits that are curious and even cuddly. The organs that rule waters are the kidneys and bladder so foods that support these organs like watermelons, garlic, and olive oil are helpful. Their go-with-the-flow nature means that activities like qi gong, walking, and stretching all serve to balance waters.
Wood personality types see a problem and are driven to fix it. They’re successful and managerial, often CEOs. Those governed primarily by the wood element are also motivating, in fact, many are motivational speakers. Woods tend to react emotionally with anger to situations and they also are more likely to have addictive tendencies to foods, alcohol, and drugs. Woods in particular need to eat very healthy because detoxifying organs like the liver and gall bladder rule their bodies. Cleansing foods like lemon, salmon, almonds, dandelion, and grapefruit are great for wood personality types, as are activities like the marshal arts.
Fire personality types love nothing more than to be around people. They’re optimistic, fun, and high energy. But sometimes they don’t understand why others around them don’t have as much energy as they do. Those ruled by fire are often up with the sun and have gotten through much of their day before most of us have breakfast. Creative and joyous, fires love high intensity exercise like Zumba, aerobics, and jogging. When fires are challenged, their emotional response to stress is panic. And they’re ruled by four organs: the heart, pericardium, small intestine, and triple warner. Foods like raspberries, asparagus, apples, green tea, garlic, and ginger are really good for fires.
Those that are predominantly earth element also love being around people. They’re incredibly compassionate and always trying to help those around them. Loyal and loving, they always want to make people feel safe and comforted. The flip side of their compassion is that they also spend a lot of time worrying about other people. Their gentle and sweet personality type means that under stress they can become worry warts. Music and nature both balance them. Earths are ruled by the stomach and spleen, meaning they have to be very careful of digestive issues. It can often take trial and error for earths to find a diet that works with their stomach, but foods like sweet potato, squash, chamomile, and alfalfa often support spleen health.
Metals often walk a solo journey through life. They’re aloof and detached yet sophisticated and worldly. Metals are quietly very generous and they take life as it comes. They often have issues staying connected with people and aren’t very in touch with their emotions. Graceful and gracious, a metal often walks with poise and elegance. Their emotional response is often quiet contemplation and silently detaching. Metals are ruled by the lungs and large intestine and foods like water, juicy fruits and vegetables, honey, spinach, aloe vera, and black cohosh are great for balance. Metals love gracefully gliding through a flowy yoga class.
What's your personality type? Take this quiz to find out.
What Personality Type Is Your Ideal Romantic Partner?
By learning about yourself, you can get a better understanding of who you’re most compatible with personality-wise, which is an idea that Dahlin explored in her new book. She says you can use your understanding of personality type as a roadmap for your life. Here’s a look at which personality types best support each other:
1. Water and Wood
While water is the one that most often comes up with the idea, wood helps water slow down and implement it. Wood keeps water on a schedule and water helps wood slow down and enjoy life. That’s why together, they can make a good match.
2. Wood and Fire
Wood helps fire stay focused and on task while fire helps wood release and have fun. Wood is intensely hard working, and very good at accomplishing the task at hand, but fire reminds wood to live life. Together they can really balance each other out.
3. Fire and Earth
Fire can help pull earth out of the past, a place where they can sometimes get stuck. And earth can provide fire with a calming and supportive atmosphere in which to thrive, making these two elements another strong match.
4. Earth and Metal
Earth can keep metal from being antisocial, in essence, bringing them out of their thoughts and back down to earth. At the same time, metal can help earth detach from society and spend some time in their thoughts. These two, though very different, can actually be a great match.
5. Metal and Water
Metal and water are a deep honey pot of thoughts and complex wisdom. Metal can help water finish a project and water can keep wood from spending too much time away from people. Together, these two elements are like two old people holding hands on the beach.
Image of couple via Pixabay