If you’re human, and I’m guessing you are, this presidential election cycle has you reaching for the booze. A lot. Whether you’re anti-Trump or anti-Hillary, there’s brain-aching insanity on the campaign trail that only a good drink can mute. At the very least, you can smash your throbbing forehead into the bottle or can until you pass out. These are dark times.
But for those of us who want to use our booze for good—as in getting as shit-faced drunk as we can until this nightmare is over (or just beginning, I suppose), there’s a crop of anti-Trump craft beers available now. That is, if you want to put Trump's face that close to yours. And, yes, they may have a slightly more than normal orange glow.
If the Trump piñata tickled your this-isn’t-funny-anymore-bone, then these beers are sure to quench your xenophobic-phobic nerves. But who are we kidding. At the very least, they’re beers. So crack ‘em open and pour 'em down that yuuuuge, and I’m guessing, terrified hatch. Then, of course, build us a wall with the empties.
On with it. In order of awesomeness.
- Dock Street Brewery’s Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Drumpf, IPA
The Philadelphia-based brewery “is working on an entire series,” reports BerghoffBeer.com. The first one the brewery made? The Short-Fingered Stout. “Drumpf” though, if you’ll recall, is the Donald’s more accurate last name, at least according to “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.” The HBO show claimed to have researched the origins of his last name. But we love this one mostly for the message about voting. In all the insanity of this election, it's been easy to forget that's exactly what we're supposed to be doing here. This beer is sold out, but there are apparently new ones on the way.
From the Organic Authority Files
- 5 Rabbit Cervecería’s Chinga Tu Pelo, Ale
For the non-Spanish speakers among us, Chinga Tu Pelo’s translation is a not-so-polite sleight to Donald’s ‘do. (It means f*ck your hair.) The beer is particularly aimed at slamming Trump’s anti-hispanic stance—it was once served at Trump Tower (and called Trump Golden Ale). But 5 Rabbit’s owner Andres Araya pulled his Trump business and gave the beer an appropriate rebrand.
- Spiteful Brewing’s Dumb Donald, Double IPA
With a name like Spiteful Brewing, we were hoping for a bit more, well, spite in the name. But there’s nothing like straightforwardness, so we’ve rather warmed up to “Dumb Donald,” which was “selflessly brewed to help drinkers transport themselves from a world with Donald Trump to a peaceful and Trump-free faraway island. It’s hoppy, features key lime flavor and is strong enough to help you forget about the current presidential candidates,” reports Berghoff Beer. We'll take two.
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Beers image via Shutterstock