According to India's healing systems of Ayurvedic and Yoga, within each and every one of us is a chakra system made up of seven spinning energy centers, each governing a different aspect of our physical, mental, and spiritual health. And it should come as no surprise that two of these energy centers also impact our sex lives. When they’re out of balance, our path toward true intimacy with our partners can be hindered.
According to Leah Guy, author of the new book "The Fearless Path: A Radical Awakening to Emotional Healing and Inner Peace," understanding these imbalances can do a lot to clear the emotional blockages that keep us from a healthy sex life.
How Does the Chakra System Govern Our Sex Lives?
Chakra is the Sanskrit word for wheel or disk and is considered a place where the mind and body intersect. Chakras are often pictured as lotuses, symbolizing the unfolding of flower petals to show how the mind and body can open up. In India, lotuses are sacred flowers known to grow up and expand in the swampy mud. The first and second chakras are most closely connected to our sex lives.
The first chakra, called muladhara, meaning root support, is located at the base of the spine. It’s linked to our survival and connection to the earth but it’s also linked to our most carnal desires. More importantly, being out of balance at the root chakra often results in fear. It’s difficult to open yourself up to intimacy when you're fearful.
“It’s about our connection to the earth and our connection to ourselves,” says Guy. “A balanced first chakra makes us feel whole, safe, and worthy.” A healthy sex life means being able to trust yourself and your partner.
The second chakra, called svadhisthana, meaning sweetness, is located at the lower abdomen, genitals, and womb. It’s connected to desire, pleasure, sexuality, and procreation. When it’s out of balance it can lead to a cooling of sensuality and, physically, it causes impotence. Guilt can also keep us from a happy healthy sex life, especially if we think of sex as somehow shameful, a feeling that can stem from how it was portrayed to us as children. Such guilt is rooted in the second chakra.
What to Do if Your Chakras are Out of Balance
According to Guy, you can bring back the magic by paying special attention to these chakras. Unlocking the first chakra—that ever important connection to ourselves and each other—is all about grounding down.
“It’s hard to go from staring at a computer all day to having a healthy sex life,” says Guy. “When you’re completed disconnected from the earth, it’s hard to feel connected to each other.”
Guy recommends grounding by literally putting your bare feet on the earth. Go outside with your partner—explore the outdoors hand-in-hand, walk the beach, take a hike, walk in the backyard barefoot. It’s important to remember that our connection to the earth via the first chakra is invariably linked to our connection with each other. Grounding down makes us feel safe and less fearful, which opens us up to intimacy. Additionally, regular meditation can help us reconnect to both ourselves and each other.
Guy recommends targeting the second chakra through yoga poses like cat/cow (Marjaryasana/Bitilasana), as well as backbends like bridge (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana), full wheel (Urdhva Dhanurasana), sphinx (Salamba Bhujangasana), and triangle pose (Trikonasana).
Other Holistic Methods for Rejuvenating Your Sex Life
Guy also contends that color therapy, essential oils, and crystals may also help reawaken you sexually.
- Try color therapy. The root chakra, for example, is always pictured as a red lotus. This is because red and other deep earth tones help us feel safe. “Colors illicit certain emotions,” says Guy. “Red is sensual and passionate.” Guy recommends accenting your bedroom with the color red and other earthy tones to help cultivate sexuality.
- Add crystals to your repertoire. Guy also contends that accenting your home and your life with crystals can be another helpful tool. “Crystals are wonderful tools provided by nature. They have their own energy and vibration that can also activate your sex life.” Red jasper can invigorate passion. Rose quartz can help open your heart and allow you to be more receptive.
- Experiment with essential oils. Jasmine smells delicious on both men and women. It’s seductive and sensual, says Guy. Mix essential oils with a carrier oil like apricot oil and apply like a perfume. The essential oil should have a concentration of no greater than three to five percent. That means in one teaspoon of carrier oil, you would add three drops of pure essential oil. Apply a drop or two, three to four times per day between the belly button and pubic bone. Ylang Ylang is another good choice. In fact, it’s known as an aphrodisiac. Wear it as a perfume, but remember, it’s strong, so a little goes a long way. As with jasmine, you can apply between the belly button and pubic bone. Patchouli is a grounding scent that uplifts your mood. Blend it with lavender or geranium and apply like a perfume to the lower back and the bottoms of the feet (to help you ground into the earth). Clary sage is another good choice. It’s a relaxing scent that balances the hormones. Guy warns not to use clary sage if you’re trying to get pregnant.
- Touch therapy. Sometimes, those who are fearful or carry guilt as a result of an imbalanced first and second chakra can also benefit from healthy touch. Specifically, having someone put hands on you in a healthy way. For example, having regular massages or healing energy work that helps to balance out the chakra system.