You're probably expecting to read tips on creating a relaxing bedroom environment, de-stressing in the evening with lavender oils or perhaps eating a pre-nooky meal of oysters and other aphrodisiacs. You might also be one of the millions of women out there sitting around waiting to get “in the mood” before engaging her partner with sexual advances or letting herself be lured.
This is a bit like a painter waiting until inspiration strikes before she picks up her paintbrush… she might be waiting around a long time. Every artist knows that the number one way to get inspired is to jump in and paint! Every writer knows there is only one way through writer’s block: to write. Inspiration is not going to wait around for your body to “get in the mood” – and neither should you.
Every woman should know the very best way to get in the mood for sex is: TO HAVE SEX.
This idea is quite contrary to longstanding theories about the female sex drive which state that one must first “get in the mood” for intimacy and feel the surge of passion rising before engaging in sexual activity.
After all, this is the way the male sex drive works, and for decades male researchers assumed that the female sex drive works the same way. You see a sexy picture, your thoughts begin to race, your heart starts to pound and soon you’re ripping off your clothes in wild abandon as you chase your lover into the bedroom. This is how the simpler male sex drive works.
However new research on the female sex drive shows just the opposite – the #1 action that puts women in the mood? Sex (followed closely by seeing a man do the dishes).
This turns on its head much of what we think about women and their sex drives, and perhaps it can help females who have been conditioned by the media to believe that getting horny must always precede sexual contact. In fact, the very phrase “to get in the mood” suggests that the right emotional state must be intact before the bumping and grinding can begin.
But women’s libidos don’t work like those of men.
You have no doubt experienced this situation: you start off completely uninterested in sex, and it may take you a few minutes to “get into it” with your pleading partner, but once you do: Wow! Hormones and emotions come rushing in that were sleeping only moments ago. The key to unlocking this sexual drive is to initiate it. We like to believe that our minds are in control of our bodies, but often that is just not the case. Our bodies inform our minds much more often than we consciously realize.
Just like smiling when you are sad can actually make you feel happier, engaging in sensual foreplay when you aren’t really feeling “in the mood” can spark your sexual desire!
So the next time your partner gives you that knowing look and you are feeling completely uninspired sexually – just say yes. Once foreplay begins and your worries begin to fall away into the background, you will magically find yourself in the mood, revved up and ready for some intimate action.
Life is far too short to depend on something as superfluous as a “mood” to instruct your actions and behaviors. Create your own mood, and make an effort to cultivate your sexual life, like you would a garden. A fantastic sex live or a fantastic garden never just “happens,” you must nourish it. When you do, you will find that underneath your uninspired moment of “honey I have a headache” - there lays a wild woman, ready to ravish and be ravished.
Not convinced to make the first move? Here are 5 Reasons to Get it On, for your health.