In the movies, it’s always so simple: Every female (including virgins coupled with other virgins) reaches orgasm in a matter of seconds, the “Big O” dropping hard after only a dozen meager thrusts, some heavy panting and a few gasps – and round two is just around the corner.
In reality, the female orgasm can be elusive – at first. But for women who are willing to really get to know their bodies from the g-spot to the clit and beyond, orgasms can truly be just a few minutes away from any occasion. Even better than that, the female body is built to experience orgasm again and again, unlike the male body, which must have a short break to recuperate between bursts.
However, few women actually experience multiple orgasms. It’s no wonder, when the average American woman doesn’t orgasm until her 20s and many don’t experience the joys of masturbation until their 30s or beyond.
Ladies: Multiple orgasms are your birthright. Every female body has the ability to experience ongoing waves of pleasure, but you are going to have to take things into your own hands (so to speak) to make it happen.
First of all, get a vibrator. While multiple orgasms with a partner may be your ultimate goal, you must first find the path yourself before you can lead another person down it, and one of the best and fastest tools for female satisfaction is a vibrating dildo. If you have never owned a vibrator, you are really missing out. Order an inexpensive version online just to try it out, and be sure to have extra batteries on hand.
Whether you prefer clitoral stimulation, vaginal penetration, “other” or all of the above, the first step to having multiple orgasms is to be able to give yourself a singular one. Spend some time alone to find out exactly what works for you, and forget the movies – the female body is a luxurious garden full of treasures to be explored, not a jack-in-the-box wired to orgasm after the first five seconds of stimulation. Be patient, and in addition to discovering what physical stimulation works for you, also make note of what mental stories run through your head. Common female fantasies include variants of submission or domination, as well as plenty of fetish themes, sex with strangers or sex with groups. Whatever your fantasy, don’t judge yourself for it – just enjoy the ride. As most women know, if your head isn’t in the game, then you are never going to climax.
Now that you have found what works for you and can bring yourself to climax in a matter of minutes with a vibrator and your fantasies, its time to draw it out. Let yourself come almost to the point of climax but then stop all stimulation completely and let your body settle back down. Try to do this as many times as possible; the more you are able to ride the “wave” up and down, the more powerful your orgasm will be. Make yourself reach the edge of climax ten times before finally letting the orgasm wash over you. You are now well on the path to multiple orgasms.
With practice, you will be able to tease your own body for an extended period of time. On that final edge, bring yourself as close as possible to orgasm without going over, and you will finally reach the point where you have little choice in the matter – your orgasm happens to you. Orgasms are often so powerful that we automatically recoil from further stimulation - but this is where your brain must jump back in to remind you to keep stimulating yourself with the vibrator (or manually if the vibrations are too intense). After that first orgasm, keep stimulating yourself as much as possible (even if that is a tiny bit) and you will soon find yourself on a river of pleasure. As long as you keep stimulating your buttons, the only thing that will stop your orgasms will be slight back pain from all those muscle contractions and full-body spasms!
Now that you have become the master of your multiple orgasms, invite a willing partner into your bed and give it a go. Like anything worthwhile in life, learning how to multiple orgasm takes time and effort – but the benefits of a happy sex life (with or without a partner) and regular orgasms include pain relief, cancer prevention, better cardiovascular health, less stress and decreased rates of depression. It’s time that you claimed one of your most special privileges as a female – because every woman can have multiple orgasms!
image: Lianne Viau