The 13 Grossest Processed Foods People Actually Pay Money to Eat
Processed foods are gross on so many levels—the added sugars, artificial colors and flavors, stabilizers, GMOs—but some manufacturers take it to a whole other level with some really unnecessary gimmicks to get you to buy their products. Newness sells even when it’s downright gnarly.
Here’s a roundup of some of the grossest processed foods we’ve seen in a while:
Image via Brand Eating
1. Watermelon Oreos: What’s summer without watermelon? How about subbing that juicy, yummy, sweet fruit with a cloying mouthful of Watermelon Oreos instead? No seeds!
Image via Crucial Brutal
2. Pepsi Cheetos: When you’re in Japan next, get all the comforts of home in one bag with the latest invention from PepsiCo and Frito Lay: Pepsi-flavored Cheetos. We’re really looking forward to Cheetos flavored Pepsi next.
Image via YumSugar
3. Ramen Burger: Hungry enough to eat a ramen burger? The newest craze in New York City uses fried ramen noodle ‘buns’ to sandwich a burger. But one thing we can’t figure out: where do you put the flavor packet?
Image via the Atlantic
4. Cronut Burger: If the ramen burger sounds a little too gross, you could always try the cronut burger instead. This uses the other NYC trend du jour, the cronut (croissant-donut hybrid) to create a bun for your meat. Hold the jelly filling. Or not.
Image via Brand Eating
5. The Pretzel Burger: But wait! We almost forgot bizarro burger option #3. How did no one think of this before 2013? Wendy’s management is surely laughing themselves into a twist all the way to the bank over their latest creation: the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger. Because what goes better than a square burger topped with gloppy cheese, bumpy bacon and served in a semi-twisted soft pretzel?
Image via One of the Things I
6. Deep fried Coca-Cola: With soda sales slumping, maybe Coca-Cola is on to something—make soda chewy instead. Now, it’s a meal!
Image via Taco Bell
7. The Waffle Taco: Oh Taco Bell, you so cray-cray. A waffle that’s also a taco? Like syrup for the soul…
Image via Gizmodo
8. Bacon Milkshake: Thanks, Jack in the Box, for finally (hopefully) putting an end to the bacon craze by blending it up into a vanilla milkshake. Even the Kosher can’t keep away…
Image via CBS
9. The Hot Dog Stuffed Pizza: Pizza Hut will keep coming up with disgusting pizza ideas until we insist they stop. Don’t believe me? Head on over to the UK or up to Canada for their latest invention, the hot dog stuffed pizza, and let me know how that trip turns out for you. I’m particularly interested in the ‘mustard drizzle.’
Image via Laughing Squid
10. The Kit-Kat Pops: If that hot dog stuffed pizza put a smile on your face, well then, by all means book a flight to the nearest Pizza Hut Middle East location where you can finish your meal with doughy Twinkie looking pillows stuffed with Kit Kat bars.
Image via Comedy Central
11. The Wasabi Cheese Donut: It’s everything you love Dunkin’ Donuts for: spicy wasabi, processed cheese and, oh yeah, donuts, all rolled into one. You won’t find this at your local Dunkin’ location though; you’ll have to fly to Singapore to try one. And you’ll probably want to wait a few hours (near a bathroom) before boarding the flight home…
Image via Brand Eating
12. The Strawberry Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich: Why make an ice cream sandwich with boring old cookies when you can use a Pop-Tart instead? The folks at Carl’s Jr. apparently were wondering the same thing when they “invented” the vanilla sammy. And good news for you calorie counters, the 320 calories and 51 grams of carbs come from just one whole Pop-Tart cut in half for the sandwich, not two. (Phew!)
Image via Coca-Cola
13. The Edible Fanta Ad: Maybe actual food’s not quite your thing anymore, even with all these yummy processed food options. The folks at Fanta have you covered with a recent ad campaign where you can actually eat the soda-flavored paper. No straw, no bubbles, no mess!
Keep in touch with Jill on Twitter @jillettinger
